


Goodbye Doesn't Mean Forever

by rankwriter



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Community: spn_cinema, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-03
Updated: 2013-05-03
Packaged: 2017-12-10 07:31:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/783432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rankwriter/pseuds/rankwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen’s been left behind one time too many. Actors and musicians are plain unreliable as boyfriends and he’s not going to make that mistake again. Then his reprobate ex boyfriend sub-lets the apartment to a floppy- haired, muesli-eating actor and all bets are off.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodbye Doesn't Mean Forever

**Username:** [](http://rankwriter.livejournal.com/profile)[**rankwriter**](http://rankwriter.livejournal.com/)  
 **Film Choice:** The Goodbye girl  
 **IMDb Link:** [ The Goodbye Girl](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0076095/?ref_=sr_1)  
 **Beta:** by the ever-lovely [](http://alibye.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://alibye.livejournal.com/)**alibye** all remaining mistakes are all mine.  
 **Rating:** R

Written for [](http://spn-cinema.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://spn-cinema.livejournal.com/)**spn_cinema**

**Summary:** Jensen’s been left behind one time too many. Actors and musicians are plain unreliable as boyfriends and he’s not going to make that mistake again. Then his reprobate ex boyfriend sub-lets the apartment to a floppy- haired, muesli-eating actor and all bets are off.

 

 

 

**Goodbye, doesn’t mean forever**

Jensen could hear the music through the door. Gentle, soothing sounds, a familiar tune but he couldn’t quite remember it’s name. It was prickling there at the back of his mind but he couldn’t latch onto it. He put his ear to the door and listened on, each strum or finger pick easing him. His heart rate lowered and a smile crept onto his face. Almost without the input of his brain he rapped on the door.

“Are you decent?” he remembered Jared telling him he liked playing the guitar naked and he wasn’t ready for that!

He heard a muffled yes so he twisted the handle and opened the door and was greeted with such a sight that his breath woofed from his lungs.

Jared was naked, sitting cross-legged on the bed, a guitar on his lap. Clothed he was an impressive man, naked he was outstanding. His unruly hair grazed his shoulders, and what shoulders they were -- broad and muscular. Jensen unconsciously licked his lips as he felt a flush rise from his chest to his face. He was blushing, he was a grown-ass man and he was blushing. This was all _his_ fault.

“You, you, you...” he spluttered as Jared watched, an amused smile on his face.

“Breathe Jensen,” he said in that irritating zen manner that always raised Jensen’s blood pressure.

“You said you were decent,” he finally managed to spit out.

“I am perfectly decent,” Jared said, a hand gesturing down his body as he raised a cocky eyebrow. The bastard knew how attractive he was, “I am also naked. Naked and decent.”

Jensen wished he would stop using the word naked, as his body was having an inappropriate reaction to both the word and the incredible visual in front of him. Averting his eyes he said as he fumbled for the door.

“You knew damn well what I meant.”

He looked up and Jared gave him a rakish smile. That damn guitar didn’t even cover his genitals and Jensen got prime view of his not insubstantial assets. Oh lord, he felt a bit dizzy. Grabbing the handle he pulled the door open and rushed out.

“There’s a child in the house,” he hissed, “you could at least protect her innocence even if you have to subject me to... _that_.” Jensen gestured at Jared’s groin area.

“Your child,” Jared said his face hardening, “Is polite enough to knock before entering my room. She also is of an age where she probably knows what a naked man looks like. so...”

“So, So,” Jensen gestured wildly, “She does not need to see _that_!” He then flounced out of the room. He had never flounced in his life before but there was no denying it, that was a definite flounce.

Jensen threw himself down on his bed. He thought he was too angry to sleep but shortly after he closed his eyes he sank into a deep slumber. His last thoughts were “that man made me flounce!”

A month ago it had been all so different. It hadn’t been perfect, not by a long shot. Chris had been in a shitty mood for weeks. He just couldn’t get a job. He’d applied for so many but the bottom line was there were too many guitarists looking for gigs. Jensen tried to be supportive but he was looking for work too and not successfully either.

Things had been so much better at the start of their relationship. Chis had a gig at the Swallow, playing nightly, and he was more than happy for Jensen to be a stay at home dad. Then the job ended, money got tight and tempers got frayed. But what Jensen hadn’t expected was that one day he would come home to find the wardrobe empty and Chris’s stuff all gone. Even his Queer as Folk DVD’s. Jensen knew then that it was over and the bastard hadn’t even left a note. On autopilot he went to pick Lola up from school. How do you explain to a six year old that daddy’s boyfriend had up and left. Luckily Lola was mature for her age and ended up cuddling Jensen as he cried.

That was it, Jensen thought, no more men. He was going to get a job and concentrate on Lola. Men only spelt trouble. Besides he had an awesome daughter who made everything worthwhile. When he felt particularly down he would sneak into her room and cuddle her as she slept, enjoying her soft milky scent, it always eased him. She was as smart as a tack. Seven years old and already she could argue her dad into a corner Jensen thought an indulgent smile twitching at his lips. She’d never known her mom. Hell Jensen hadn’t known her much more than a quick fuck after a show. Then she had shown up nine months later and left Jensen holding the baby. Not that he’d want to be without her, Lola was his raison d'être.

Actors and musicians they couldn’t be trusted. They were all pretty faces and smart, clever tongues, they could talk anyone into bed. Well at least that’s the way it seemed to Jensen. Definitely not having any more actors or musicians and that was for damn sure.

Money was tight and Jensen had been trying desperately to find some work. He was a trained dancer, had danced on Broadway for fuck’s sake. Okay, so he was the wrong side of thirty and he had let himself go over the last couple of years. It was all Christian’s fault, he had told him he would look after Jensen. He had said he wanted him at home looking after Lola. After the assholes Jensen had taken up with previously he was a godsend. Or so it had seemed at the time. Now he was gone and Jensen was trying to improve his plies and chasses. It was hard work, his body remembered what to do but wasn’t always able to comply and oh how he ached, he hadn’t felt this bone deep pain in years, not since dance school and that was decades ago. Whenever Jensen felt motivation slacking he just had to look at his daughter and he pushed through the pain.

One night after a particularly brutal dance class Jensen was lying in bed trying to sleep when he heard the front door open. Luckily he had put the chain on, but whoever it was rattled the lock then knocked loudly. Dammit Christian was obviously back. Jensen dragged himself out of bed, every muscle screaming with agony and made his way to the door.

“What do you want Chris,” he croaked. He was never any good when he was awoken.

“It’s not Chris, it’s Jared,” Came a strange voice “Chris rented the apartment to me.” Jensen woke up very quickly after that.

He got to the door and pushed with both of his hands trying to close it. He was going to have to get the locks changed tomorrow, He couldn’t believe that fucker had sub-let the apartment. Bastard!

“Yeah well sorry Chris didn’t have any right to sublet,” Jensen groaned, he was pushing with all his might but the door remained open.

“Well,” the disembodied voice said “I have a contract here with my name on it. I don’t see anyone else’s name here so I think you’re squatting in my apartment. Shall we call the rental agency?”

Fuck, what had Chris done?

There was no choice really, so Jensen unlatched the chain and let the guy in. He was tall, and built. His hair was brown and tousled in that just out of bed way that models and actors favored. He was also dressed which made Jensen very conscious of his own boxers and t-shirt combo. God he felt practically naked and as he walked to the sitting room, he could have sworn that he felt Jared’s eyes on his ass.

“So...” said Jensen, his mind was racing, how the fuck was he going to get out of this. He needed the apartment dammit. He had a daughter he couldn’t be homeless.

“So,” agreed Jared “you’re in my apartment.” Jensen looked at the guy, trying to read him but his eyes were giving nothing away.

“Well you see Jeremy,”

“It’s Jared!” he spat

“Jared then,” Jensen snapped his nerves were frayed, he didn’t need this and if he ever found that fucker Christian he was going to remove his penis with a rusty spoon. “My ex-roommate has screwed me over, obviously. Now I have a daughter and clearly I cannot be made homeless, so how about we come to some agreement?”

Jared looked at Jensen pensively,

“I wasn’t planning on sharing,” he said blankly and Jensen’s stomach dropped. How the hell was he going to find somewhere suitable to live,” just then the door opened and a sleepy Lola wandered in rubbing her eyes.

“Daddy, what’s going on?” She deposited herself on Jensen’s lap and looked at Jared “Who are you? Are you a giant?”

Jared looked at the little girl and his demeanor softened.

“No Sweetheart, I’m not a giant. I’m your new roommate.” Jensen looked up, his eyebrows almost hit his hairline. He wasn’t going to argue with the man, after all he had a daughter to think about.

“Come on sweetie,” he said gathering her up in his arms “off to bed,” he turned and hissed at Jared “then you and I have to set some rules.” Jared looked amused but nodded.

“Is that man really our roommate? “ Lola murmured her eyes were already closing.  
“Looks like it.” Jensen concurred.  
“Is he your new boyfriend?”  
“Hell no!” Jensen exclaimed  
“Daddy said a naughty word.” Lola giggled then turned over and snuggled down “He seems nice, he should be your new boyfriend.”

Oh if only life were as simple as children’s logic. Jensen leant down and kissed his sleepy daughter goodnight.

Jared was waiting in the sitting room, dripping over the carpet. Jensen grabbed a towel and threw it at him, then sat on the couch. His stomach was fluttering and he felt both hot and cold, this was so not what he needed right now. Damn Christian and his sneaky leaving and screwing Jensen over again. He grabbed a pillow and put it in his lap, damn he should have got dressed. He felt at a disadvantage.

“Ground rules Jeffery: No walking about the apartment naked, I have a young daughter and she doesn’t need that sort of education just yet. Keep the noise down after nine, she has school and I want her refreshed and ready to learn. No overnight guests, Lola really doesn’t need to see semi-naked women walking around the apartment. Keep the place tidy and pay your portion of the rent and utilities.” Jensen gasped in a breath and looked at Jared expectantly.

“It’s Jared.” he corrected “Here are my rules” he said “Keep your daughter under control and out of my stuff. Make sure she keeps the noise down when I have people over to practice.”

Jensen put his head in his hands “Oh my god you’re a musician,” Jared shook his head imperceptibly, “Oh God worse you’re an actor,” Jared’s smile widened. Could Jensen’s day get any worse? That asshole Christian if he ever saw him again he would... he would do something very painful and nasty to him. God having children really wrecked your imagination for awful forms of revenge. Tickling was now top of his list, but Christian liked that and it had always led to sex. Fuck his life. “and Jensen if I want to have a young lady spend the night then I shall. It is my name on the lease and you and your adorable little daughter are here out of the goodness of my heart.” he finished with a flourish.

“Actors.” Jensen thought dejectedly.

If he was honest with himself Jared moving in wasn’t the worst thing that had happened in the last month. At least Jared was paying the rent so Jensen could concentrate on getting a job. He rushed off to his latest rehearsal for a small off-Broadway musical based on the Dark Tower books by Stephen King. Jensen really didn’t want to know where people came up with these ideas, but he wasn’t proud and a job was a job.

Michael, the director, moved people into place and showed them a complex series of moves. Jensen gave his best and by the end sweat was dripping from him, trickling down his back and wending it’s way between his buttocks. It felt awful. Michael weeded dancer’s out ruthlessly until there were only seven left and made them run through it one more time. Finally he said

“Sorry Jensen, your dancing’s really good, but I was really looking for someone a bit younger.”

Gasping for air Jensen just nodded, it wasn’t as if that was something he could work on. Dejected, he made his way to pick Lola up.

As they were walking along Jensen noticed an ad for a barista in their local coffee shop and tucked it away for later thought. He didn’t want to give up his dream just yet but he knew that he was going to have to get a paying job soon. His pitiful amount of savings were rapidly depleting and even with Jared covering the rent he and Lola had to eat. He could feel his shoulders slump but instead of letting himself fall into despair...

“race you -- last one to the apartment stinks.” and they were off, a giggling Lola well in the lead.

Jared’s door was closed and Jensen could hear the murmur of voices from beyond it. Damn him, he wasn’t supposed to have women over. Grumbling he put on the radio and started on dinner while dancing to some seventies disco track that was playing.

Wiggling his ass while chopping the veggies was remarkably calming and the music was uplifting “celebrate good times, come on” he sang as he gyrated towards the stove and dumped the vegetables into the boiling water.

“Mmm I can see why people pay to see you shake your ass.” Jensen froze, what the fuck!

“I’m not a damn stripper.” he huffed, although he wondered briefly how much they got paid, then dismissed it, he was too old to pass as a twink.

“I never suggested you were,” Jared said, his eyes raking lasciviously over Jensen’s body, making him squirm. His trousers suddenly felt too tight.

“I thought we had agreed you wouldn’t have company,” Jensen grumbled as he turned back to the stove, his good mood crumbling under Jared’s intense scrutiny.

Jared came up behind him, he could feel his breath on the back of his neck and the warmth of his body although he stopped short of touching. “we agreed no such thing. My apartment, my rules and if I wish to entertain a young lady I will.” Jensen felt Jared lick his neck, lick it for fucks sake. He pulled away and gave Jared a look he normally reserved for people who hurt his daughter.

Jared pulled away, laughing “I’d rather entertain you, any day.” he threw as his parting shot.

He wasn’t coming onto me, Jensen thought, he was just trying to irritate me, and he succeeded. Dammit, Jensen reached down the front of his pants and adjusted himself, all the while scowling.

Living with Jared was an exercise in confusion. Jared could be nice - for example when Jensen had his wallet snatched and had broken down and cried in the street - Jared had comforted him and hadn’t even taken the opportunity to mock him. He was also incredibly supportive when Jensen had decided to give up his dream of dancing again and picked up a card offering work at a coffee shop. Jared had ripped it up and told Jensen he had a few more good years in him yet, which had made Jensen smile even though it was a bit of a backhanded compliment. Other times, Jared would have women around to ‘rehearse’. Jensen knew exactly what they were rehearsing and he damn well wasn’t having it in his apartment.

The sane part of Jensen’s brain, the part that waved goodbye and went on it’s holidays every time Jared was around, tried to interject that maybe Jared was rehearsing and perhaps it was Jensen’s jealousy that was making him unreasonable. Jensen shut that thought up pronto and knocked on Jared’s door reaching to open it before Jared had time to answer. Opening the door he was greeted by a shocking sight, just not the one he expected.

A young woman was sitting on the bed looking at Jared adoringly. Jared was kneeling on the floor and was holding the woman’s hand. It almost looked as if he was proposing. What the hell, five minutes ago he was rubbing himself against Jensen. Well not exactly rubbing himself, but he practically was. Jensen could feel the fury bubbling up from his lungs into his throat via his vocal cords which went a long way towards explaining the howl that erupted from his mouth. Jared jumped up and the woman shrieked.

“What the hell is going on here” Jensen roared. The sane part of his brain was trying to butt in that it was none of Jensen’s damn business but Jensen was too far gone to listen to reason.

“What are you doing in here?” Jared asked, he had already regained his inner calm which just irritated Jensen all the more.

“I asked what is going on in here?”

“Daddy,” a quiet voice came from the hallway and Jensen felt a small hand insinuate its way into his, “Why are you shouting?”

“It’s nothing Sweetie,” he quickly turned and left Jared to whatever debauched activity he was engaged in.

Later Lola and Jensen were curled up on the sofa watching Friends, again, it was Lola’s favorite show. Now, apparently it was even more relevant, because as she said, he and Jared were like Chandler and Joey sharing an apartment.

“Does that make you the chicken or the duck?” he said as he tickled Lola’s belly.

“Stop, stop.” she giggled “I’m neither, I’m Phoebe.” For reasons Jensen couldn’t fathom Lola related with ditzy Phoebe, it could be worse he supposed, it could have been Monica.

They were still chuckling when Jared came in a joined them, collapsing on the sofa and smiling at Lola while somehow still managing to give Jensen the evil eye.

“Jensen what was all that about? I’m allowed to practice in my own home.”

“Yeah daddy, Jared has a new job, he’s the lead in err, what’s it called again?”

“To Death do us Part.”

“Never heard of it.” Jensen snapped and then realizing how that sounded and seeing the hurt flash across Jared’s face continued “sorry, I thought...well I thought you brought someone back,” he emphasized the last word so Jared could get his meaning but the bastard just looked at him blankly.

“I did bring someone back,” he smiled evilly “to rehearse of course, I don’t know what you were thinking Jensen, you’ve got a bit of a dirty mind there.”

Jensen blushed -- again -- how did he manage to do that to him every damn time.

“Congratulations on getting a part, I haven’t heard of that play before.” Jensen said trying to be conciliatory. “what theatre is it at?”

“Well,” Jared said and he smiled one of his big, goofy smiles “It’s at the Vineyard Theatre which is Off Off Broadway, and it’s a sort of modern retelling of the Taming of the Shrew, a very liberal retelling.” he looked a little uncomfortable.

“So you have to tame your wife?” Jensen asked

“Not exactly she tames me. All the women play the male parts and all the men play the women’s parts. So I have to wear a dress. It’s tasteful though, it’s not meant to mock transgendered people or transexuals, it’s meant to be a critique on the stupidity of gender roles or something like that,” he rubbed his chin. “The director is very serious about it.” he finishes looking somewhat deflated.

 

“It sounds very Avant Garde, I’m sure you’ll be outstanding in it.” Jensen said, he knew he had been unreasonable recently despite the fact that Jared had been really good to him. He didn’t want to consider exactly why he was so annoyed with Jared nevertheless he knew it was because he was jealous. He didn’t want Jared to bring women home because he wanted Jared to want him. This was getting complicated. He didn’t want to get involved in another relationship, particularly one with an actor. Likewise he didn’t even know whether Jared wanted him back, although he flirted terribly it was in a careless manner. “And I’m sure you’d look great in a dress.” he finished with a smile, hoping it went a long way towards mending any broken bridges. Jared’s return smile could have lit half the city and made warmth rise in Jensen’s chest.

Things settled down in the apartment after that --Jared had work and Jensen was still looking-- but the acrimony was gone for the most part. A tentative truce was in place and Jensen was on his best behavior.

xxxxxx

 

Lola was running along in front of him and splashing in the puddles that littered the sidewalk, Jensen watched her, pride swelling his chest, he’d never thought in his wildest dreams that he would be this lucky.

As he passed a blacked out storefront his eyes were drawn to a flyer in the door. Wandering over he read.

“Teaching assistant required for lively dance classes, enquire within.”

Could it really be this easy?

“Hold up Lola,” he called and beckoned her towards the door.

That evening as Jensen cooked dinner his head swam with excitement. He had a job. Okay so it wasn’t starring on Broadway but if he was honest Jensen had left those dreams behind long ago. The dance school had been small and perfect, just the sort of place Jensen would have loved to attend. It catered for all levels of ability and all ages and for once the fact that Jensen had a kid was seen as a positive. The money wasn’t fabulous but let’s be honest, anything he brought into the household was better than the nothing he currently brought in. He was surprised by the fact that he couldn’t wait to tell Jared.

Jared was tired and grumpy when he got home that night so Jensen held off telling him. Things weren’t going well with the play. From what Jared said Jensen suspected that the director had a screw or two loose.

“So today he said.” Jared said resting his elbows on the table as he put his head in his hands “that he thought it was a good idea that we, the men, acted like we were on our periods.” Jensen tried and failed to stifle a snort, “it gets better, believe me.” Jared continued, “So he went to the drugstore and bought some sanitary napkins and made us put them in our underwear.” Jensen couldn’t help it he was outright laughing now. “Yeah, yeah very funny.” Jared grumbled, “Apparently it would ‘help our process.’” Jared looked defeated, “It’s almost like he’s purposefully trying to sabotage the show, but then you look at him and he genuinely believes his own hype, I don’t know what to do.”

Jensen reached over and took Jared’s hand. “All you can do Jared, is do your best to shine, take what he gives you and make it your own.”

Jared gave Jensen a beatific smile “You’re absolutely right, if that asshole wants women on their periods, then I’ll be the best damn woman who ever had a period!”

Yeah, Jensen wasn’t so sure that was what he meant but Jared seemed so happy that he let him roll with it.

Jared’s rehearsals continued for a few weeks in which time Jensen had settled into his new job. His favorite lessons was teaching the little girls and Madam Zolanda said that Lola could have free lessons because her daddy worked there. Lola had natural talent and Jensen liked to think it was genetic. He also loved teaching this elderly couple who had started coming to lessons to improve their relationship. She was tiny with hair like spun candyfloss, always perfectly turned-out in pretty tea-dresses and gold strappy dance shoes. Her husband looked dapper in his dark suit and bow-tie. They were in their seventies but when they tripped around the floor they looked decades younger. Jensen hoped he would be as fit and able when he got to their age. He also hoped he would have a partner that wanted to spin him around the floor.

Jared’s big, first night was coming up and for a man usually so zen he was a bundle of nerves.

“The critics are going to tear it apart.” he moaned as he tucked into the meal of lasagna and garlic bread that Jensen had prepared for him. Whatever happened in Jared’s life, nothing put him off his food. “It’s going to be awful.”

“You won’t be awful Jay.” said Lola around a mouthful of garlic bread.

“Oi you, don’t speak with your mouth full.” Jensen chastised “but she’s right you know you won’t be awful. We’ve seen you practice and you’re going to be great.”

Jared beamed at the praise.

“Do you and Lola want to come to opening night?” Jared said then he blushed and looked embarrassed.

“We’d love to come, wouldn’t we daddy.” Lola practically bounced.

“Is it suitable for young eyes?” Jensen said casting a glance at Lola.

“Oh yes,” Jared said, “Well as long as you don’t have any issues with a bit of cross dressing, and some very interesting direction.”

“I have no problem with that whatsoever.” Jensen smiled and Lola high-fived him.

“Can I wear my tiara and fairy dress?” Jensen raised an eyebrow questioningly at Jared.

“Why not, if you look pretty enough then you may take some of the heat off me.”

Thank you mouthed Jensen, Lola loved to dress-up but she didn’t get much opportunity.

Later in the evening, as Jensen washed the dishes, he mused on how he and Jared were now friends. Yes the man still irritated him with the muesli-eating and the meditating, didn’t he know the sixties was like fifty years ago for fucks sake. But he had a good heart, he had looked after Jensen and Lola until Jensen had got back on his feet, and God was the man attractive. Jensen practically sprouted a semi the minute Jared walked into the room. Smirking at the thought Jensen let the water out of the bowl and left the dishes to drain as he went to check on Lola.

The little madam had drawn Jared into a dressing-up game. Jared was resplendent in a pink boa that Jensen had managed to appropriate from one of the shows he had been in. Lola had made a good attempt at putting lipstick on him, she had only veered slightly from his lips giving him a drunken drag-queen look. Blue sparkly eyeshadow adorned his eyelids, Jensen tried and failed to hide a snort.

“You’re looking mighty pretty.” Jensen said to Jared as he ruffled Lola’s hair. She beamed at the compliment.  
“I’m getting good at putting on makeup.” she boasted as she dipped a large brush in some blusher and swept it over Jared’s cheek. Where the hell did he get all this makeup? Jensen wondered, then realized it was one of the perks of working on Broadway. He’d been in an eighties themed musical once, hence the blue sparkly stuff. He would have cleared it all out but Lola loved playing with it. Jensen was just glad that Jared was taking the brunt of Lola’s artistic endeavors. Normally Jensen had to be the model and he found it just a little emasculating. Jared seemed to be enjoying it though.

“Lola’s doing a far better job than the makeup artists for the show.” he grumbled and Jensen really hoped he was exaggerating.

Lola started flagging around nine o’clock so Jensen picked her up, hushing her as she complained, and put her to bed. She snuggled down under the princess pink duvet and was asleep before Jensen had a chance of kissing her on the cheek. Looking at her laying there, so content, made Jensen’s heart twinge. He lay down next to her and gave her a cuddle, sniffing her hair which was sweet with the baby shampoo that he still used because she liked it. Lola made his life perfect, he kissed her one last time then got up and went back to join Jared.

Jared’s hair was wet and his face freshly washed but he was still sporting the boa.

“I like it.” he said waggling his eyebrows.

Jensen reached over and flicked the end over Jared’s shoulder and nodded.

“Maybe I’ll wear it opening night, it can be my lucky charm.”

“Lola’d love that.” Jensen smiled at the thought of Lola seeing Jared onstage in her pink feather boa. He looked up at Jared who was looking at him with such intensity that it made his stomach swoop and tumble like a bird in flight. Then he was moving forward and Jensen knew what was going to happen but he was powerless to stop it, he licked his lower lip in preparation then Jared kissed him. God, Jensen would swear on a stack of bibles that he had never been kissed like that before. It started gently, soft pecks, each increasing in intensity, until it was all-consuming, breath-stealing and wonderful. When the kiss broke Jensen looked into Jared’s eyes and asked  
“Are we gonna have sex now?”

Jared huffed in amusement “You cut right to the chase don’t you?”

Jensen raised an eyebrow in askance and Jared just kissed him again in response. It was as good an answer as anything.

xxxxxxx

The next morning Jensen stretched feeling his muscles pop, well that had been quite some workout he thought as a contented smile broke out on his face. Turning over he flinched at the ache in his ass, it had been a while, but so worth it. Jared was still asleep, his face relaxed in repose. Jensen kissed him and checked the clock, he would have to get up, Lola would wake at any moment and he didn’t want her to get the wrong idea, okay the right idea, but he definitely didn’t want her to know he had spent the night in Jared’s bed.

Grumbling at the aches in his body he snuck out of the room and down the corridor to his own, quietly opening the door he was greeted by his daughter sitting cross-legged on his bed with a self-satisfied grin on her face.

“So did you and Jared have a sleepover?” Jensen groaned, it was too early for this.

“Sort of” he concurred

“So is Jared your boyfriend now?” she was practically bouncing.

Groaning “No, not really.” Jensen didn’t know how to define his relationship with Jared, if it even was a relationship. Fuck he was too easy that was his trouble. A pretty smile, a compliment and he was ass-up on the bed ready and willing. He was such a poor role model.

“Come on you need to get ready for school.” he side-stepped any further questions by herding her into the shower and then making himself a strong coffee.

He didn’t see Jared as he and Lola left before Jared emerged from his room and that made Jensen feel a little concerned. Was he avoiding Jensen? God he was too old for this.

It was opening night that evening and by the time Jensen had picked Lola up from school his stomach was in knots. Jared hadn’t phoned him all day. Okay he hadn’t called Jared either but that wasn’t the point. He unlocked the door to the apartment barely keeping the key between his sweaty fingers. He could tell immediately no one was home, the place was silent.

“What time do I need to get ready.” Lola asked as she skipped past him and made her way to the kitchen.

“About half-five I guess.” that should be enough time to get one pretty princess ready and get down to the theatre in time for curtains up. Jensen’s stomach roiled at the thought of seeing Jared again what with everything being up in the air. Dammit he thought as he followed his daughter into the kitchen. Lola sat at the table swinging her legs as Jensen moved to the fridge hoping to throw together some leftovers for a quick meal and there on the fridge was a note from Jared.

“See you and Lola tonight :) We’ll go for milkshakes after xx”

Jensen’s heart melted and his stomach stopped it’s uneasy rolling, chastising himself for acting like a teenage girl Jensen quickly prepared tea for a hungry seven year old.

Less than two hours later Lola and Jensen were hurrying down East 15th Street. Lola was getting a lot of appreciative glances, she was dressed all in pink, her princess dress was adorned with sequins and sparkles and she had her boa around her neck, the director hadn’t let Jared wear it for the show. The piece de resistance was, of course, her tiara, she looked spectacular and radiated happiness. Jensen had made an effort too, smart black trousers and a jade silk shirt, but in comparison to his daughter he looked positively drab.

At the theatre they were directed to the front row and took their seats. Lola squirmed with excitement and Jensen knew how she felt because he wanted to do the exact same thing. The auditorium filled quickly and the air of anticipation was almost palpable, it had been quite a while since Jensen had been to see a show and he was quickly sucked into the atmosphere. After an interminable time the lights dipped and Lola grabbed his hand and squealed.

The show was something else - Jensen wasn’t sure exactly what - but it was definitely something else. It was awful, even Jared’s performance, which was excellent, couldn’t redeem it. The audience laughed, but Jensen was pretty sure it wasn’t in the places they were meant to. He wanted to put his head in his hands and close his eyes, just to spare Jared the embarrassment, but his friend deserved his full attention.

Finally it ended and those who remained in the audience clapped politely. Jensen and Lola stood up and applauded and cheered loudly.

“That was really good,” Lola said, “really funny. I can’t wait to see Jared to tell him how good he was.”

The audience traipsed out of the theatre, their comments were less complementary. Jensen knew Jared would be devastated, but at least his performance was good.

When Jared came out from backstage his shoulder’s were slumped and he looked half his normal height and five-times as miserable. Jensen got up and threw his arms around him.

“You were great.”

“I sucked.”

“You were really funny Jared. I loved your dress.” Lola said.

“Oh God.” Jared sat down and closed his eyes, “People are going to remember my off off Broadway performance by the fact I wore a blue floral dress.”

“But you do have spectacular legs.” Jensen rejoined, Jared snorted and cocked a brow at Jensen.

“I certainly do, ah well, it’s over and done with, let’s get some milkshakes.”

“Yay.” Lola said and so the three of them found an all night diner and ordered three large chocolate milkshakes.

“I have to admit chocolate makes everything better.” Jared said but his eyes didn’t hold their normal glint of wickedness.

“You really were very good.” Jensen said reaching over and taking Jared’s hand.

“Thanks,” he smiled weakly. “I don’t think it’ll do my career much good though. Shall we see if the reviews are in? Never let it be said that I’m not a sucker for punishment.”

Back at the apartment Jared loaded up the computer and trawled through the reviews as Jensen put an overtired Lola to bed.

“‘Never have I had the displeasure of seeing such an amateur production as ‘To Death Do Us Part’. I found myself just wishing for the death part.’ Says Sam Barnes of The Post.” Jared said miserably.

Jensen read on “Look,” he pointed “‘The only bright point in this fiasco was the performance by Broadway rookie Jared Padalecki. Padalecki owned the stage and gave a fresh and poignant performance. I see great things in this young man’s future.’ See I told you, you were fabulous and he agrees.”

Jared managed a smile. “Thank you,” he reached over and kissed Jensen. “repeat performance of last night?” Jared asked as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Jensen felt his stomach flip and a flush rise on his cheeks. Nodding he grabbed Jared’s hand and dragged him to the bedroom. What? He could be proactive too.

xxxxxxx

The next day Jared found himself out of a job, again.

“You don’t seem too upset.” Jensen said as he served Jared his morning muesli and then poured himself a large mug of coffee.

“Nah, it wasn’t exactly unexpected. Besides those shoes killed my feet.”

“You did look fine in those high heels though” Jensen mused.

“I think you have a thing for me in drag.” Jensen just smiled enigmatically.

Jensen left Jared with the paper spread open on the job page as he corralled Lola out of the door and onwards to school. He couldn’t help but smile as he helped teach the little ones to dance the Ugly Duckling, he was still smiling as he picked at his sandwich at lunchtime and later when he picked Lola up. Arriving home to Jared madly packing soon wiped the self-satisfied smile off his face.

“You’re moving out.” It wasn’t a question, more of a statement.

Jared looked up from his packing, guilt written all over his face.

“I got another job, someone saw that fiasco of a play and wants me to audition,” Jared smiled “he says I’m a shoe-in.”

“Congratulations.” Jensen said, his voice monotonous. He sat down on the bed and wiped his damp palms on his jeans. He damn well knew this would happen, actors. Even in his head he spat the last word out.

“Jensen.” Jared said placatingly, “I’m coming back.”

“Of course you are.” Jensen said, he felt numb, like he was watching this all enfold from a long distance.

“No Jensen I promise, it’s a touring show starting in Boston, I’ll be back in three months, six if it gets extended. And I can come home for weekends.”

Jensen looked at Jared, he was all earnest and caring but he’d been burnt before, more than once dammit. Jared was beautiful, his hair tousled and wild over a broad forehead, exotic eyes looking at him with concern just made him feel like hitting something. Was this his life now? One aborted relationship after another? Jared put his arm around Jensen.

“I’m coming back,” he repeated and Jensen so wanted to believe it.

“Okay.” he said, maybe Jared would be the one who did come back. He got up and went to the wardrobe, opening the door he looked in at the empty rail and shelf and felt his heart hit the floor. “You’re coming back?” he said looking at the bereft wardrobe then turning to look at Jared.

“I didn’t know what the weather would be like.” he mumbled looking at the carpet as if it was the most exciting thing he’d ever seen.

“So you decided to take everything?” Jensen said with disbelief then he took a big breath and pulled himself together. He actually felt like he was pulling himself together, squaring his shoulder, tensing his stomach, taking a full, cleansing breath. “That makes sense.” he finished and watched Jared look up in surprise. Then he heard a car horn.

“That’s my taxi.” Jared said and Jensen nodded.

“Not wasting anytime then.”

“Nope.” Jared admitted “We go into rehearsals the day after tomorrow.” Jensen nodded, he was strong, he had dealt with worse than this before. Dealing with a newborn and working in the chorus line was no picnic. Jared gathered up his belongings and Jensen stood and kissed him on the cheek.

“Break a leg.”

“I’ll be back, I promise.” Jared said then claimed Jensen’s mouth in a sweet kiss. Pulling away he ran his hand down Jensen’s face as he looked at him intently as if he was memorizing every feature then he turned and left the apartment.

xxxxxx

 

Night fell and Lola and Jensen sat on the sofa eating ice cream straight from the tub.

“When’s Jared coming back.?”

“He says about three months.” Jensen said as he reached for another spoonful of creamy goodness, Ben and Jerry had never left him and they had always been faithful.

Jensen had eaten enough to make himself feel sick when the phone rang. With a groan he got up and answered it, God that ice-cream was swooshing around in his stomach. It had felt good for like five minutes but now...

“Hello.”

“Jensen,” Jensen felt his heart stop.

“Jared?”

“Look in the cupboard in the hall.” he said

“What?”

“For once in your damn life can you just do what you’re asked?” Jared’s disembodied voice said. It was such an odd request that Jensen did just that. Opening the cupboard door he was greeted by a sight that made his knees go weak. Grabbing the offending item he ran back to the phone.

“You left your guitar, you’re really coming back.” he could feel all the tension slip out of him, hit the floor and disappear between the boards, “you’re coming back to us.” he sighed.

“Yep.” Jared sounded happy “Of course I am, I love you, you idiot.”

“You love me?” Jensen needed to sit down, he wasn’t lovable. Christian had told him so.

“Yes I love you, God you’re annoying, I wish I could bundle the two of you up and take you with me.”

Jensen sat down on the floor with a jolt, Lola looked over the sofa at him, her eyes wide.

“Jared loves me.” Jensen said to her, and she grinned. “I love you too.” he whispered, because of course he did, Jared had inveigled himself into Jensen’s life and made himself at home there. He had wormed his way under Jensen’s defenses, he had kissed him and oh God the sex had been fabulous. Who wouldn’t have fallen for him?

“Hurry home, we’ll be waiting for you.” Jensen said as he cuddled Jared’s guitar to his chest.

End 


End file.
